If You Are A Superhero, What Powers Would You Have?

It would be interesting to know what your answer is to that question. Feel free to enter your comments. For me, I think I would like to have the ability to read women's mind. Hmm..you know what, I think that could be disastrous too. Maybe it would be better to say to read the women of my life's mind. But what if I know things that she doesn't want me to know? That's no good...

I guess what I really need is to understand them and most likely that is what they need most from the men of their lives too.

It is so easy to see people's fault when you are agitated in an argument. But when I quietly and calmly reflect, I contributed to the heat too. When people argue, they naturally become defensive, and as a result, you don't see your own mistakes. Picture this, while you are driving, a car just cut into your lane as you are accelerating from the traffic lights, it's so easy to become angry. You become offended because you had to slam on the brakes and the slam left you in a shock. You become defensive and start saying that the driver is inconsiderate, selfish, and so on. But imagine this, he lifts up his hand through the window as a sign of apology, and then take out a sign saying that "My father is dying at home and I need to see him before the last breath". Ahh...your emotions change hah....This is true when we argue too. Argument starts when one of us does something that upsets someone. When upset, you become defensive, you start hearing false accusations and statements at yourself from your spouse. Seemingly tricked by your emotions, you decode your spouse as accusing you and you start to react offensively. And let round 1 begin!..Ting ting!! Now what happens...when your husband or wife, in the midst of the argument, broke down and cry and then said, "John, I am sorry for the constant nagging but that's because I only wanted you to do it for me one last time for the doctor told me that I only have 2 months to live." Aha, emotions change huh?...This shows how defensive we can be in an argument until we do not see what the real needs of each other is. All she wants is your love, all he wants is your respect. We suddenly become so focused on ourselves. We suddenly become so SELFISH! So you ask, where does this defensiveness come from? After all, you were never a selfish jerk. You are a good-willed person and you love your family. The answer is our nature as a rebellious person. Really, when I think about it, we are all naturally born rebellions. It started when Eve rebelled God from the beginning (controversial topic, but I would say Eve was the one who ate the apple first after being encouraged by Satan to rebel and then she influenced Adam), we rebel our parents even when we don't understand ABC yet. Even if I win the argument so what? And when I win, I actually lose. I lost her respect, I lost her love, I lost her admiration....etc. Instead, when I calm myself down, I humble myself and apologize and make it up to her, that is when I truly won...I won her heart, I won back her respect and love. After all, what seem to you is wrong, to her is correct and vice versa. Really, there is no right or wrong. Just different. That is what Dr Emerson, author of Love and Respect kept reminding us. My fellow readers, I am really grateful to God for teaching me this for I was a very stubborn person. I still am quite stubborn but for sure is gradually transforming. My fellow readers, it is never about how much percent of who is guilty or wrong, it is always about love and respect (read Ephesians 5:33). Whenever she is arguing back at you, she is actually flashing the message "I need your love"...and for women, whenever your guy is arguing back at you, he is flashing the message "I need your respect".

I know sometimes it is really hard to say I am sorry especially when you strongly believe that he or she is at wrong or he or she is being not reasonable or not rational. For me, I have learnt another new thing regarding this...that is Romans 5:8~ God demonstrates His love in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us. God must have been really hurt and sad to see us rebel against Him and not admit that we are wrong. But guess what? He still died for us. Out of what? Out of love. So gentlemen out there, whenever you strongly believe your wife is wrong in an argument and she is not confessing her mistakes, be like Jesus, make the first move and humble yourself down. While she is still rebelling towards you, love her and apologize sincerely for causing the argument and making her angry. After all, husbands are told to love wives just as Christ love the church (Ephesians 5:25-28). The church is rebellious, nevertheless Christ love them. Your wife may be rebellious, nevertheless love her. And naturally when she feels loved, husbands will be respected just as the church respects and submits to Jesus (at least most good-willed wife will do that).

I totally understand when a man says that his wife is not rational at all when arguing. I am not saying women are not rational beings but at least this is what came across to many men when they are in a heated argument. Well, all I can say is that we need to be understanding whithout having to understand. Never dismiss her feelings no matter how illogical it seems to you and always accept her as someone who has her own opinion, choices and desires. Women are to be loved, not understood. Yes, of course understanding her is very important but in times when you cannot understand her, continue to love her. When you switch your feelings from dismissing her to loving her sincerely, naturally you will understand her and something complicated will seem to be all so simple. That is the challenge I lay onto the table today for all men and women the same. Love your wife when she is unlovable and respect your husband when he is unrespectable and remember do it with sincere heart.

Another lesson to learn from loving our wives as Christ loves the church. When Jesus was suffering and dying for us, He did not wait for everyone to submit to Him first. Instead, He died first and slowly men came to Him one by one. He first offered the gift first, and leave it to men to accept it. In other words, in any relationship, it's never about what the other person can do for you but always what you can do for the other person. Similarly, in a relationship, husbands, do not wait for the wife to submit to you and only then you start loving them. Make the first move. Wives, do not wait for the husband to start loving you to submit to him. Make the first move. Love is all about sacrifice. It would not be called sacrifice if you can give it up as easily as you accept.

There's still a lot I want to touch on this topic. It's really very interesting. But it's getting late now and I want to sleep. I would like to encourage those who are interested, to read the book titled Love and Respect by Dr Emerson Eggerichs. It's great! Check out the website too http://www.loveandrespect.com/.

My prayer is that God be with each and every couple out there struggling to make things work. May love and respect prevails in every home and also in my current relationship.

The First Christmas Gift - A Tribute To The Lord Jesus

He was a servant, yet He is a King
He died, yet He rose
He was tempted, yet He never sinned
He was poor, yet He fed
He is the truth, yet many turned away from Him
He loved, yet He was despised by many
He is far, yet He is near,
He was quiet, yet He was strong
He suffered, yet He brought joy
He was man, yet He is God
We were doomed, yet His grace is sufficient.

By Hsien Lit Chew for His glory

This man is no other than Jesus Christ. Borned in the manger, with no biological father, He grew up as a carpenter making a living on wood and ironically, He died on a wood. He wore a crown just like a king, but it was the only crown that has thorns.

My friends, you and I, your first Christmas gift ain't the bicycle, the first guitar, the first nintendo set, or your underwear. Our first Christmas gift is Jesus Christ. Whether you like it or not, whether you receive it or not, Jesus Christ is the reason for Christmas and He was God's gift to us on that first Christmas day. He was the greatest gift that any person can ever receive at anytime. Sadly, many rejected the gift.

I would like to reiterate what a pastor in the Liberty Christian Centre preached. According to a survey, the most favoured item that symbolizes Christmas was the Christmas tree. So it was, there are 3 important items on Christmas. The gift list, the tree and the gift. And God too has the same thing for Christmas. He has a gift list, the tree and the gift. You guessed it right, the tree is the cross that Jesus died on, the gift is the salvation, and the list as it is. However, there are huge differences. We select gifts according to the list. Your best friends get the better gifts, your good friends get the ordinary ones. But God did not do that for all men have fallen short of God's glory. Our gifts depreciate but His gift keeps on giving and giving and giving till the end of time. God's gift is good for all ages, all seasons and all situations.

Let us give thanks to God for Christmas. Let us give thanks for the First Christmas Gift. Hope more will receive this gift with open hearts.

Merry Christmas!

Breastplate to Protect the Heart

That was it. I was praying alone in my room, and all of a sudden, it struck me so hard. I had to write it in my blog. My fellow brothers and sisters in Christ, I felt the urge to remind ourselves that we are in a spiritual battle and the importance of wearing our armor. Many of us are not, and no doubt we keep falling to the devil's trap. The armor is often overlooked by Christians. But God put it clear to us that we indeed have armor and armor is to be worn for battle.

Ephesians 6:10-18
Finally, be strong in the Lord and his mighty power. Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore, put on the FULL armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all flaming arrows of the evil one. Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and ALWAYS keep on praying for all the saints.

I would like to talk about breastplate of righteousness here this time. I always thought that righteousness is like doing the right thing at the right time even if it might be something that hurts. But later on I realized that that is only part of it. To be fully righteous, I believe requires something more than that. We can never know for sure whether we are fully righteous just by our acts. There's so much in life that requires righteousness, and what we do is only a result of what we know and the fact is we do not know everything about righteousness. According to Luke 18:10-14, the Pharisee who talked about all the good deeds he had done really did not mean anything to God. But the tax collector humbled himself and acknowledged that he is a sinner was the "righteous" one. From here, we see that righteousness is not what we do, but it really is our identity in Christ.

People may say, ahhh, that is just Christian belief. Moreover, it's all coming from a "story book". Does not make sense for me to believe in that. But really, think about it. How sure are you that you are righteous? By your good works? Truth is, we never know. There's so much in life, that we can never be righteous in all aspect of life. Our quest to be righteous goes on and on and it will not stop because you can never. For me, I would be honest with myself and just admit that I am a sinner and will never be able to attain all righteousness unless I surrender that to God. It is my identity in Him that will result in me doing righteous work. It is not what I do that makes me righteous. It is who I am.

Well, I guess now putting on the breastplate of righteousness to me pretty much means seeing myself as a sinner and to surrender that to God so He can take over and produce fruits of righteousness. And remember, the armor goes through wear and tear as it is being used. We need to maintain it which is the tough part. OK, getting late now. The next armor will be in my next post. Have you put on your breastplate of righteousness? Does it need maintenance? Are you sure you have put on the right size of armor? Do you even have the armor?

First blog to communication

This is the day that the Lord has created....i was struck when I put myself to realize that each day is actually a gift from God; every moment becomes so special. I cannot help but to put my experiences in life into words as a record. This way, I can see how events in my life piece together so nicely reflecting God's working in my life. Look at the big picture and every little thing you do in life starts to make sense and for once in my life, I find meaning in life.

Below is lyrics from a song by the Marmalade :

The changing of sunlight to moonlight
Reflections of my life
Oh how they fill my eyes
The greetings of people in trouble
Reflections of my life
Oh how they fill my eyes
Oh my sorrows Sad tomorrows
Take me back to my own home
Oh my crying
Feel I'm dying, dying
Take me back to my own home
I'm changing, arranging, I'm changing, I'm changing everything
Everything around me
The world is a bad place
A bad place
A terrible place to live
Oh but I don't wanna die ...